Recorded by Eddy

After our two intended, but three actual liters at the Hoffbrau, we headed around the corner to the rendezvous point for Munich's Mike's Bike Tour. Brad's "contact" that lived in Munich for a couple of years recommended this. We decided to schedule it right upfront during our stay cause it was a chance to see A-lot of the city. We could decide from that point if there was anything we must go see. Smart, huh. Yeah! Well little did we know that we'd be endowed with three pre-tour liters and one surprise on-tour complimentary beer graciously provided by Mike's at the start of the trip. So, some of the practical Munich scouting that was originally planned turned into playtime.

The tour met just off of Marienplatz near the famous glockenspiel clock tower. It was a short walk from our favorite watering hole for the afternoon. The sky was a little overcast, but the tour must go on as they say (as we said…well, actually we never said this, but we would have if we had all of our senses). The others on the tour were mostly Americans visiting Europe. There were also two Aussies, one guy from Mexico, and our guide, Frankie. Frankie I believe was from Hawaii (but I could have made that up-he totally looked Hawaiian though).

Frankie told us that he was some world-renowned skateboarder, or surfer, or biker, and that he was pre-recruited to be a tour guide for Mike's. (BK note: he was a rollerblader--on half pipes, not in races) I was a little confused as to what exactly the transferable skills of his alt-sport background were and how they related to the bike tour business. But I assumed it had something to do with the Xtreme-edge he portrayed. I don't know. He was very sarcastic and made the tour pretty fun. During his explanations of landmarks and Munchen history, he would turn things back to us just to make sure that we were listening and having a good time. Brad and I chimed in often with side comments, ridiculous answers to his questions, and we tried numerous times to get the others started on some chant or bike tour cheer. "Go TEAM!" "MIKE'S MIKE'S MIKE'S MIKE'S!"

We got the bikes, some gloves, and ponchos for those who wanted them (babies and girls only) and were on our way. The bikes rode pretty well, at least at the beginning of the trip. We basically toured in single file or double if you had to talk to someone, race, goof off, or any number of reasons that were against Frankie's slack, un-enforced rules. Seeing the potential that we could easily have a biker down or missing, Frankie asked the group to elect one responsible person to help out. No one stepped forward and no one nominated any candidates, so I stepped up. He asked again, ignoring my self-nomination. Still no one. I was jumping up and down now. He asked again knowing that it would have to be me.

I was appointed "Assman". My job as "Assman" was to make sure no one got lost, left behind, or injured. Ironically, in this position I would bring up the rear of the tour making me the farthest from Frankie. Hence, I had the greatest freedom to screw around or goof off, I should say. But I wouldn't think of such a thing in my cabinet position as "Assman", would I? Well, yet another mistake in Frankie's judgment should answer your question.

The answer is The Mike's-Bike-Tour-Provided-Complimentary-Beer at the Hoffbrau. That was our second or third stop on the tour. We took up a couple of benches and each got a liter and chatted and got to know each other a little. Frankie ordered a weiss for himself, saying it was his favorite beer. So that's what I ordered. Yes! I love this beer. We got to witness Frankie's famous liter mug arm-twisting drink trick. I think he said he was a world-class bar tender (but I could be making that up). (BK note: he was featured in Playboy as one of the "top eight bartenders in the world.")

The trip continued. At one stop everyone broke for coffee. I had this wacked out interaction with this insane flute-playing guy on the steps of some important looking building. We did Tai-Chi together and sang "Blowin' In The Wind" for a few verses. The guy was nuts. A good portion of the tour was spent riding through Europe's largest park, the Englisher Garten. There are a number of beer gardens spread out across the park. They were closed because of the weather. Thank God. Normally the tour makes a stop at one of them and I was doing just fine at this point. Not necessarily the case for Brad.

While relaxin' "hog-style" on my bike through the garden, I heard a voice from behind me, (oops my "Assman duties were not being followed) "Hey check this out!" As I turned, I saw Brad wipeout HARD. (BK note: right on my beard!) Everyone laughed. The first thing he said when he got up was, "Between all the coffee and all the beer I thought I was invincible." So true.

We rode through the park, twisting and turning around the group, "hoggin' it up", making side-trails and shortcuts, and even attempting the deep sand of the horse trails. That was about it. Mike's Bike Tour kicked A. I was awarded a hat for my "Assman"-ing. Then a group of us left to go debrief and chill at…Well, how 'bout you guess where we ended up.