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Burger King Veggie Burger
Sunday, August 01, 2004

I have returned with my BK Veggie Burger Combo with fries and a strawberry shake. You are about to receive a realtime review of this meal.

I will start by saying the strawberry shake is soft and delicious, better than McDonald's, especially now that McDonald's has those damned triple thick shakes that are too thick to suck through a straw... what is the point if you can't drink it, you McIdiots!?!

BK Fries: every time I eat BK fries, I like them more and more... still not better than McDonald's fries, but they are up there... they do tend to be more crispy on average than McDonald's, but their best is still not as good as McDonald's best... best part of the fries is their guaranteed crispiness without too much grease.

First mistake on Veggie Burger... mayonnaise, and this is with all BK sandwiches... I do not know who decided in our past that mayonnaise should automatically be put on burgers, but they are all assholes and should be shot today! Mayonnaise, being the miserable product that it is (except in tuna or chicken salad or on cucumber sandwich), should only be put on by request... my enjoyment of the sandwich has already been crippled and I have not even taken a bite yet... also included are lettuce and tomato... no onion, ketchup, or mustard... Next flaw: include mayonnaise but not ketchup mustard and onion... what the hell is wrong with these people?!

I have taken the first bite of the Veggie Burger.

First of all, the taste is very bland, mainly because it is missing the three main ingredients mentioned before which generally provide the extra flavoring a good burger needs.

The veggie patty itself is plain and boring... nothing to die for. And, now that I have looked at the section I have bitten off, I can see the parts of veggie matter no wholly ground and am displeased with the sight. I give this burger a rating of:

2 Charcoal Briquets out of 5

Does not disgust me, but does nothing for me either... I will nickname this burger E. Matter. (edible matter: average product that can be consumed without causing revolt) But the shake sure is good.

The mayonnaise just made a squirting splooging sound... oh... so disgusting...

Oh god, this burger is getting worse by the bite... I may have to change my rating to a 1 out of 5... Long live the cow.

Update: could not finish the veggie burger... too disgusted.

Do not feel sick, but since I could not finish the meal due to loss of appetite, I have to reduce my rating to:

1 Charcoal Briquet out of 5

Simply put: Avoid BK Veggie Burger (if you are a veghead, forego your beliefs at BK).

Rating: 1 Charcoal Briquet out of 5

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